Something's Missing...

It's Thursday, September 17, 2009 and something is missing, the day feels strange. It's the first Thursday since May 7th that I have not gone straight to VOA (Virginia Oncology Associates) before work in the morning. it's the first Thursday that I haven't had to go see my friends "the vampires" and have blood drawn, or to see the two best chemo nurses ever to get hooked up to the chemo lines. It's strange how the absence of things that were so foreign and scary four months ago, create such a void and uncertainty now.

Chemo is rough, it causes horrible reactions to your body, but Praise God it destroys cancer cells. When I was first told that I would need 6 treatments, 3 weeks a part, I thought Oh Lord, give me strength. Now that the treatments are done, I pray Oh God, give me peace and sustain my trust. When I was going through the treatments I knew the cancer was being fought. Now that they are done there is this little gnawing fear that maybe there are still cancer cells floating around just waiting to strike out and grow. Will that happen to me? If so will it be right away (chemo resistant cells), will it be 6 months or 10 years down the road (cancer reoccurrence)? Ovarian Cancer is not curable - it is considered a chronic disease. I have been attending a support group for survivors of GYN cancers and have seen first hand that OC really likes to keep a firm hand on one's life. But one of the biggest things I have learned in this "walk on the beach" is that God is faithful, His promises are true and He never leaves us. If you ever feel like He is "missing" - He's not the one that walked away. Can I let the fears of a reoccurence control my life? Yes I can, but I am chosing not to. I am chosing to continue to conquer the hold that OC has on my life and to embrace each new day with faith and trust.

My walk is not complete yet, and won't be until the day I meet my Saviour face to face. But the journey thus far could not have been taken without the love, prayers, and support of my dear children, friends and family. I couldn't have done it without any of you. You are the reason I chose to conquer, the reason I pressed on when I so wanted to give up and you are the reason I will continue this fight. This walk has brought us closer, it has made us stronger and it has shown us how precious our time together is. One of the many blessings that I cherish from this jorney is the reuniting with a very dear "daughter"and all the time we have spent together during this ordeal. My dear friend Sherry, you were with me from the utterance of the first ugly words in the ER " you have ovarian cancer" and have been my confidant and chauffeur. You let me cry when I needed to and made me "snap out of it" when necessary - you have truly won your "angel wings". Thank you "My Gang" for all of the love, support, caring, sharing and sacrifices you have made for me, may God bless you greatly.

The battle's not over, but the enemy is locked up. My scans are good, my blood counts are rising and my tumor markers are shrinking. The effects of chemo will be with me for quite awhile yet, but I can already see the sun shining again along the shore. I will have more scans, clinical trial treatments, doctor visits and blood tests for quite a long time - but the sun is shining!

I covet your continued prayers, not only for healing, but for wisdom in making the best of the days ahead and forever giving God the glory.

Jason, Chandra, Annie, Lindsey, Xander, Jason A & Sophie, may our next "walk on the beach" together be on the shores of Atlantic Beach, NC.

My love and thanks to all that have prayed, helped and encouraged me on this journey.

Blessings,

Char

Sunny Skies Are Coming

Good news is...well, GREAT news! Chemo Round Six is done and gone. Char is doing very well. She got tired very quickly after this treatment, however, she did not have as many of the aches and pains that she experienced with the last treatment. She has been on the move and has barely slowed her pace since the completion of treatment number six.

She took an extra day off last Monday to make sure she was rested and ready to go come Tuesday. As with many people on the central east coast, she seems to be fighting allergies so has had a persistent headache that does not seem to want to go away. It does not seem to be slowing her down very much.

Dr. McCullom and his team gave Mom rave reviews on her overall progress with treatment. He was very pleased with all of her outcomes thus far. Her blood counts were dropping of course on Thursday as would be expected. They warned her that she may still have some slow days in the coming weeks as her counts drop and then begin to improve. She was not too excited about this prospect, but knows that soon much better feeling days are on the way. Hopefully a few more weeks and she will begin to feel more like herself than she has since April. I know that she is very excited about the improving process! She certainly deserves many sunny and GREAT feeling days to come!

The experimental drug protocol will continue for nine more months. These treatments will continue every three weeks but are delivered in less than an hour versus the entire days that she has spent in treatment thus far. Blood tests, scans and follow-up with still be continuous. Her next scan should be sometime next week. We look forward to some fabulous improvements on that front.

Mom you continue to amaze and inspire. You are a true source of inspiration and understanding that a strong mind, strong, heart, strong faith and strong soul can certainly provides a positive impact in the continuous quest for health and well being. You have been and are working so hard. You certainly deserve the many fruits of your labors. Health, happiness, love and joy be with you now and always Mom.

All of Our Love,

Your Gang